Faith

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
-Corrie ten Boom

Anyone who knows me knows my dislike for small talk discussion. Mix that in with awkwardness that can come with discussing religious opinions and I'm done. Growing up with a Catholic mother and Christian father, I was raised in a religious household yet my parents allow me to explore religion freely. I look back and feel so grateful that my parents allowed me to question everything while encouraging me to find my own answers instead of their own perspectives. 

As a twenty-two-year-old "adult" this cycle still repeats itself today. Yesterday I interviewed for a potential job and to my surprise got a job offer at the end of the phone call. While I was excited to FINALLY have my first big girl job offer, I knew of some potential cons of the position and found them to be greater in the grand scheme of things. My heart had felt ripped in two for the solid fact this opportunity was in my dream location, something I had talked about for years but my intuition was holding me back. Of course, at this moment I ran, technically called, for my parent's rescue. Their response was eerily similar to when I would question them on their opinions on God's plans or views on certain things. "It's your decision, Paige." The most frustrating yet understandable thing an indecisive person will forever hate to hear. My mother responded "You can't do it for me. You can't do it for your dad, or your friends, or your boyfriend. You need to make this decision for you." 

Looking at all these similarities makes me wonder on God's working. Having conversations like this usually make me sickly uncomfortable, but I can honestly write about it right now because my faith has been one of the few things I have in these moments. My faith has been something I felt a deeper connection to any figure or biblical identity. Faith is something I felt comfortable sharing while I hold my religion so close to privately. The idea that trust and confidence, even if it is not from a specific resource you can identify, is powerful enough to give you some sort of motivation to keep going when you just want to give up blows my mind.  Since January when I began my job search I have felt such frustration and heartbreak. While my faith has kept me applying to places with the knowledge rejection is likely, the most important thing my faith has done is allowed me to trust everything will fall together better than I could ever plan it to.