"You're mourning the loss of what you thought your life was going to be. Let it go. Things don't always work out how you plan. That's not necessarily a bad.
Transitions in life are going to happen but doesn't mean it makes life any easier by any means. While I have a couple of exciting professional freelance possibilities coming up, it has been hard to stay upbeat when consistently applying to get a rejection. You try you hardest not to get your hopes up, but how can you not when you find a great opportunity?
My focus for right now is to keep myself busy but not in my regular tactic I usually run to in times of stress. (Working like a crazy person) While I am still working, I've been keeping busy by making art and doing things I want. Isn't that insane? I've been creating, enjoying documentaries, and researching artists that are doing things I want to do. Don't think its all fun and games by any means. I have been on the job search hardcore, but I've also been applying to exhibitions. This would have been something that would have given me a ton of anxiety about a year ago, something I would have never even attempted to apply for because for the chance of rejection. This last year has taught me not only about making art and polishing your craft but what it means to be an artist. Yes, it has exciting, glamourous moments but it's about pushing through moments of self-doubt, crippling fear, and frustration to create something that holds beauty and meaning to the viewer, ultimately hopefully improving the world around us. While I take those small steps to that bigger beautiful picture, I can honestly say for the first time in my life I am okay with the patience that comes with this transition.
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