Goodbye Mississippi

" To understand the world, you must first understand a place like Mississippi."
-William Faulkner

​A love letter.

Mississippi,

It’s not easy to say but this is goodbye. When I left to home 1,000 miles to be here I had no clue what I was getting into. I won’t lie when we first met you made me pretty lonely. On the weekends Oxford was the playground for an 18-year-old wild child, but truthfully if I had a quarter for every time I called home crying I would be able to reimburse myself for every time I went to Noodle Bowl for $5.00 rice bowl after game day freshman year. I think of these moments of homesickness and then I look at the people you brought into my life. You gave me people from all over the place with every kind of walk of life, people I would keep for life and others I would keep until they taught me their lessons. They taught me when someone gives you genuine happiness to hold on tight, even when things get really hard and when it was time to let go. I still haven't mastered letting go obviously. I’m thankful you forced me to learn anyway. These people, good and bad, made this a home for me. I grew comfortable with you even though I was an outsider. For so long I tried to conform to everything you are to feel comfortable. I don’t use the term "conform" in a negative context because there are quirks I can’t imagine my life without. Things like the weather staying warm until November, southern hospitality and hey ya’lls, and the sweetest sweet tea that will make you feel diabetes makes it difficult to leave. Things a northern girl couldn’t help but love. While these things and others are perfect to me in every way, there’s things I’ll never adjust to, things that make me ready for a change. Things like condescending judgment and stereotypes that are so heavy my heart ache at times. The feeling of living in a bubble that can sometimes feels comfortable yet other times feel suffocating. I felt similar things in the place I grew up. That makes me excited to search for a place without them, even if it doesn’t exists. The beautiful thing in this goodbye is I get to leave with mix feelings. I feel grateful for you because no other place could teach me what you did, exhausted because I did these four years right, excited for whatever may be next, nervous because what if nothing lives up to this adventure. After four years, you’ve taught me so much about love, life, people, and most importantly you’ve taught me about myself. You dragged me out of my comfort zone, things I would’ve never experience being close to home. You made me question my morals, ideals, and methods and expanded them. I’m leaving with mix feelings sure, but I can say my heart is so full for my love for you. Cheers Oxford! You were one hell of a ride.