Note to self

"Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love?
​You think it's not possible for someone like you but you are the love of my life."
​ - Beyoncé

For those who don't know or haven't picked up on my little quirks, when I get inspire my inspiration and creation can flow until artist block sets in. This applies my photography, design work, and even creative writing. This mindset also could apply to my sense of true honestly blissful happiness. With so much looming stress this semester it has been easy to get wrapped in the negative and all that going to or what could possibly happen. Coming out of the storm it's time for me open my mind and let my creative juices flow, reminding myself about the who I am and my happiness.

1. You are blessed.
While I know this always, the "hustle" and stressors that pop up daily clouds my vision on the good that surrounds. In class two of my friends and I were having a really rough week. We then listed all of the bad things that could be wrong with our lives. Try this. It can take morbid turn but we honestly laugh at how small our problems are compare to others, yet those people are probably aware how blessed they are!

2. Do not let little things (including people) bring you down.
This is one of my biggest struggles. When I'm stressed its easy for me to let that one side comment or one judgement passed to eat me up inside. These things are little, and don't do anything but dull my shine.

3. Make work that is a reflection of y o u.
This is my art/professional/career rule I've really have realized especially this semester. I've made such a journey in my artistic style and while I've come so far, this journey is not over by any means. Four years ago I created a body of work that really narrated my current world. Looking at Everlasting Dualities I can honestly say I feel that same sense of accomplishment I found with Sleep Paralysis. Why stop creating things that don't honestly depict who I am. Does my art benefit me otherwise? If j don't feel emotional connection to my work how will other's find that same feeling. I am living breathing insightful human filled with passionate love, don't forget to let that shine through in all things.

4. Life is scary and that's okay.
At the beginning of the school year I remember feeling such panic when thinking about my new responsibilities of growing into a "adult". As this semester has gone the anxiety of rent and car payments has transformed into a lingering panic of what's next. Constantly being sick from anxiety is not okay. While the rest of the world disagrees being scared is okay. Like being sick with anxiety, being scared won't stop it from happen, but holding it in and not aknowledging fear to create stress will only make it worst.

5. Nothing is permanent.
Referring back to number 4, this is your anwser. After visiting with my old boss and explaining my current quarter life crisis, her response "whatever you end up doing, even if it's not your dream job, nothing is permanent" completely took me off guard. While think "nothing is permanent" can seem negative it really isn't. That big project or annoying test can be over as soon as it started. The living situation or job stress you're constantly dealing with could totally be different a year from now. The feelings of anxiety and self loathing will soon change with new insight and experience. HOW AMAZING IS THAT MINDSET? While it's sad the happiest times won't last forever, the happy times will be so sweet knowing what got you there.