The Importance of taking care of your Mental Health

"Saying yes to happiness means saying no to the things and people
​that stress you out"
​-Anonymous 

This week I was thrown back into reality after the most perfect ten days away. As I waited to board my flight to Georgia, I would begin making a to-do list in my notes just like I had done time and time again. I would then edit my list, adding more to the list, even trying to cross a few things off in the coming days. In the evenings before we made our way down to Florida, Trey would log onto his laptop to play some videos games. My "wind down time" would consistent of scrapping and starting all over on a design. It wasn't that I'm a lame person who doesn't have any interests, it was all my interests are overflowing constantly that I'm always trying to push myself professionally. I work two jobs with an internship with a freelance opportunity always looming, my mind is just constantly in work mode. It was here I realized I needed to relax, and not the way I have been "relaxing" for the last couple months. As I was designing, I kept thinking how exhausted I was, wondering why nothing was working ultimately getting frustrating and discouraged. This similar feeling had came over in the days prior to my trip when I would be traveling to work or my internship. Don't get me wrong, I know there will days when I don't want to go to work; but to be so emotionally exhausted you're just trying to make it to the next day almost like a robot is not how I see myself living my life at all.
As my week went on I promised myself to leave the to-do list until I was home. All of the work would be there this time away with an amazing family may not. During our time in Florida I got to meet Trey's extended family. Like any holiday trip I got the dreaded question "So where are you working?", even a "what's your dream job?". They talked with me candidly about my dreams and passions. It literally took being taken out of my day to day routines for me realize I was emotionally draining myself to the point I was running through my life rampant. Why would I want to be some robotic rain cloud? This wasn't who I am. I've always been the high strung plan-a-holic worry wort. These 10 days reminded that it's okay to plan and work hard but when your day is so packed there's no wiggle room to even really reflect and the only thing you can say no to is your family and friends you're actually not working for a paycheck but living in isolation without passion. A quiet 3 hour plane trip being my moment to truly catch breath was a sign I needed a life change. Stepping out my "bubble" (my favorite to describe a location or time in your life that makes you so comfortable it's almost blinding how held back you are) to figure out where I needed to be or maybe what I should be spending my energy doing. Stepping back and thinking "What in my schedule take my momentum for the day out of me". This week being back when I would find myself becoming aggravated I would refer this question. Realizing what's worth stressing out about, crying over, and fearing is SO important. I've always said I'm a people person, that I don't know how to say no. It took going away for 10 days to realize that I am in dire need of taking control of my time and life, not just learning to say no.

Disclaimer:  Don't think this is a message saying I'm done with to-do lists. I just realize the I need two different list. One for the serious stuff and one for the hobbies I want to learn along with the places I want to go.